One of the many perks of having close relationships is the ability to trust someone dearly. The friendship that you hold is so important to both persons that to stray from such loyalties would seem alien. Even the thought of betraying ones own could upset the mental order of an ardent friend. Yet, despite the shear impossibility of such an affair, the horrifying reality is that it still occurs. Children lie to parents, friends back stab each other, and lovers bed tempting strangers. These examples I once considered as preposterous as the theory of evolution. Something so wild, so extravagant, that to even think about it would turn my brain to mash potatoes, my heart to gravy, and my soul to a ladle that would distribute the delicious, bloody gravy to the rest of my body. But no. Reality slapped me hard in the face, and left something so bitter, that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to shake it. Worse than the mark left by an anonymous drifter, the one that burns for a lifetime, and leaves you cursed to spread forever: I have been infected by someone I once trusted.
Why would you do this to me? After all the time spent together just kickin' it, you decide you can turn your back on me and screw me? OR should I say let me screw myself? Damn you straight to hell, you emotionless, inconsiderate piece of garbage! You machine! How could I once have kept you so close for you to do such a thing?! How dare you ever call me your companion, vile temptress! Thou disgust thy self. I can't understand your encrypted code so how can I ever fix the problem between us? You act as if we speak different languages, but in actuality you cloud the very words you want me to understand. I loved you, and you loved me; what happened? You've changed; you've traveled the world and then some and discovered things that don't work me for. Remove thine parasite, you damn virus! Purge yourself till you cough up no more than tangled wires and stainless chips. Then maybe one day I can forget about all you did to me, and perhaps, all you did to everyone else, and then maybe I will forgive you.
(STD's [or what are now being called STI's] are no laughing matter. Unprotected sex is a dangerous game that no one can risk playing. Statistically: one in every two people have contracted at least two STD's in the past year. Why risk your perfect or decrepit health, by dabbling down under with out a condom?)
(As bad as STD's sound, they really do not compare to my ailment.)
Due to strenuous energy consumption, a climax of file downloading, and the festering pussy of the internet, I have contracted...virus and spy ware problems. Anyone who complains about herpes, or whatever the fuck, I have no sympathy for you. You got laid, I stayed at home and got this shit. Virus's and bullshit internet infections are the lamer equivalent of STI's, and my computer is a fucking tragedy: Greek style, before Jesus Christ kinda shit. And unlike sexually transmitted diseases, I can't go get some ointment or medicine to get rid of mine...unless of course I'd like to pay money. I'm dieing over here, this spyware is so bad that it won't allow me to start up free removal programs...it's rough...help me...I need my computer to work properly...
How could you do this to me HP pavilion? We were tight, we were like this...*hand gesture*. You treated me like a piece of meat, computer. Will it ever be like it was?
I think we've all been there. Computers, can't live with them, can't live without them. Amirite?
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